This Just about sums up my life in the last month.

People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. - Marilyn Monroe

Expect the un-expected!

I'm not really in a mood to talk alot about what's going on in my life right now but I'll just say it's the hardest thing I've ever had to dijest and handle. I can't help but blame myself for the promblems in my life... even tho they really aren't my fault, but I just take blame. I feel so blind about this world and the people in it. So many people are just mean... and disrespectful. The hardest part for me isn't so much forgiving someone, but forgetting what they did to me. I just have to find a way to get back to who I am and what's important. Wish me luck.

Life= Kids, Husband, Cleaning, and More Cleaning!

Oh man it's been so long sense I've blogged... sad :( anyways, I really haven't been up to much just the usual. Lately I've wanted to get caught up on some photography I just feel like I let it go on the back burner. I really feel that taking pictures and having them turn out good makes me feel really good! I have quite a bit of people that need their pics done and I just need to send out reminders to those lovely people that we need to get them done before it's toooooo cold! haha or we could do it in the cold... doesn't matter really!

I miss some of my friends I feel like we have drifted sooo far apart that there is no return to what it use to be... but I guess that's just how it goes sometimes! It can just be a really sad thing to accept! Then on the other hand some friendships can go on pause and pick up just where we left off... :) Love that!

So Halloween was pretty crazy. We took the kids trick or treating with all the cousins and then we came back to our place and had friends over... I love having my friends come over and having a good time... although I will admit there was a certain time that was not all that fun... Michelle and Ben losing keys and well... yeah... Ben and Michelle brought their new baby Ellie and oh man she's soooo dang cute! I love babies... I love new babies.

Alright I'm gonna go now both kids are napping and I think I should sneak some cleaning in!

Taking Another Step Forward

I don't really know how to start this blog today... I know I have a lot on my mind and so much going on right now, but for some reason I can't put it all into words. I am taking a new step in my life that is way past due, well at least in my opinion. I love being a mommy and I love being a wife but I think it's time that I give myself some attention. When I do give myself attention I think I'm making my self a better Mother and wife. I need some balance in my life right now and well sense things are working out in that area at the time I'll take advantage of it.

I pretty much love what I'm doing right now I feel so much better. I feel like I am actually making something of my self and I feel happy about what I'm doing in this life at this moment. I don't feel completely worthless! I don't like to tell people a lot of what's going on just because most people I know also try to bring me down and think I can't accomplish my goals so very few of the people I know actually know what's going on at the moment! I am also so grateful for my babysitter Jess! She has saved my life she is good with kids and hey I can afford her. :) I'm just really excited about the next chapter in my life!

"The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving"

" I guess I'm a floater"

I thought I would make a post because Kaycee reminded me that people just aren't blogging anymore... so I'm bloggin! Its needed right now. I have gone through so much the last month I can't even explain in one blog... even if I tried.

One of the things that has hit me kind of hard lately is something I said to my friend that kind of made me think a little... I said, "I guess I'm just a floater". I'll explain why I said that ... We were talking about the life style we wanted for our kids. I could name off all the things I wanted for my children... expect one little thing... Religion I'm so confused on what to do in that area I'm not against it by any means... anyways it's just hard to explain. But that's when I said, I'm just a floater... I think over time that part will come to me.

Another thing that has made me happy lately is my family and friends. I love them all so much. I have to admit I have some of the most incredible people in my life right now and that's how I wanna keep it!! I finally have sorted through some things and figured out who I wanted apart of my life and well they all know who they are. The others can foo off heh... ( Yeah I giggled a little there) anyways I need to keep blogging!!! Or else I don't remember these things and then they are lost forever!

Oh yeah, I'm sad summer is over but excited for fall! I LOVE THE FALL!!! the weather changing the tree's changing ! Halloween and Thanksgiving... ahhh I couldn't be happier right now :):)

So nice to be home

Well I've been gone for a week on vacation... wow... that was really long. I'll list all the places we had ended up going... We started off by flying out of SLC to St. Louis then to Philadelphia drove out 2 hours to New Jersey, then 3 days later drove back out to Philadelphia and flew out to Chicago and then to Little Rock Arkansas... we then drove 3 and half hours out to Branson Missouri where we stayed for 4 days then drove back out to Little Rock Arkansas and stayed there over night to wake up at 4 ( 3 in Utah time) to catch our 6:30 am flight ... (wow was that close!!) The directions that we got that was suppose to lead us to the airport ended up being closed... so Eric had to end up moving road blockers to get to the airport.... hilarious. Anyways we get home about 12:30 our flight was suppose to get back ant 12:05 but some lady had a seizure on the plane so we had to wait for the ambulance. Lucky for her we had a doctor and 2 nurses on the plane that day. Anyways we get home and enjoy a nice night with family.

The next day we ended up going to the Roots Rock and Reggae Festival... amazing is all I really have to say I had a good time with fun people... except at one point when I wanted to kill this one chick... oh well I got over it! haha thanks to a friend calming down about the whole situation. Speaking of friends I'm so happy that I got to spend time with one friend that I havent talked to in a while it was nice to catch up... I missed her. Other than that I'm so tired and need to just take a minute to relax... wait I have kids... yeah scratch that idea! heh

Some people just love the taste of drama I guess it's a required taste!

I honestly think some people love drama!! I mean not just like it or whatever... they NEED it! Almost like they can't breathe without it! I personally hate it... I'm a wife a mother and I'm an adult. Some people need to grow up.

Time goes by so slowly...

I hate it when you are looking forward to something and then it feels like forever away! Well it's only 3 days out of my reach and I couldn't be more unprepared for my vacation...I have got so much to do still... not to mention that I have to go shopping for some new clothes for when I am down there! Including a new swimming suit!

I'm so excited to take my kids to the beach and for my brother and sister in law to meet Jaxon!! It will be a really fun weekend... I'm sure of it. I'll admit I'm so excited to kind of just ditch what is going on in my life right now... I'll be gone and not worry about one thing that's going on in Utah! I need a break from this state! ( mostly the people that are in it!!)

list of things I *STILL* need to do!
clean the entire house (spotless)
get all the laundry done!
get some new clothes and swimsuit
get into storage to get extra suit case
pack

Somtimes I wish...

That I could be super Mom

That I could do this for a living!

That I could live in the rain!

That I didn't have so many bad dreams

That I could be camping every weekend

That everyone could get along and not fight!

That child abuse would stop!

Attach your feelings to it.

I would rather put all my feelings out there for people to see then to have just sat on the side lines and watched so many people fly by me. I accept people for who they are including their flaws that's just the friend I am... and always will be. People who look at that as being weak are just upset and are so mad at this world and everyone in it. People use that as an excuse for being un happy! In all reality we have the tools inside us to love, hate, forgive, trust and be happy.... People just need to be willing to use the tools they've been given! I'm learning to use all these tools myself and I hope I become a better mother and wife and friend because of my willingness to learn them! I hope everyone has an amazing day I know I will!

Seeing things a little more clearly... can hurt

The last week or so has been ummm... upside down and all over the place. I'm seeing things more clearly about myself, friends, family. People you really think are your friends... they aren't they don't give a crap about you! Why?? I don't know! I guess some people really are that rude. I'm just exhausted. I had a really good talk with my friends and I've realized we are all given different "tools" I may think and handle things different than others and never really understand why people do the things they do... and that's because we are given different tools to handle them. I'm getting it now my blurry vision of this world and the many different people in it is getting better now! still.. that doesn't mean I like what is coming into view.

Some of our really good friends renewed their vows this weekend and it was amazing! It was really fun to see them have us all out there to share it with them. I love Rachel she is the only person in this world that really gets me. We talked about it and we have been through so much together... it really makes sense to why we can rely on each other and truly feel we aren't getting judged. I know I can always just be me around her and she accepts that. I really am happy me and her are friends.

Well, it was nice to get some things out there and off of my chest I will go and be with my husband and kids because out of anything in this world I have them and that's something everyone should be jealous about!

What a weekend

So I've been pretty busy lately... not always a good thing... but in this case it was a good thing to stay busy. So much drama and so much fun. I believe I've lost a friend for awhile and I'll deal with it. So that's the bad part of my weekend. The good was that I got to take pictures and do what I love the most. I went and saw The Hangover.... So hilarious. I love Trevor and Rachel they really do have some good taste in movies! I also made Alexa a tutu... I didn't want to spend 30 dollars on one when I can just make my own for 5 bucks. Plus I love making things like that. It turned out soooooo cute but to small.. ha ha. So I gave it to my niece... hopefully her mom loved the idea as much as I did.

Any who I also realized this weekend that there are some pretty nasty people in this world... not that I didn't know that! I just got to witness it first hand. Oh well what do you do?? Ignore it and move on with your life. Easier said then done. But at some point... sooner or later... we all move on. I'm kind of at peace with everything right now... I need to focus on the things that are important to me... like my kids and my husband. The love I have for my kids and family is amazing. Nobody understands it unless you have a child of your own. I'm sure people can imagine though.

I'm gonna start some new things in my life and I'll be pretty busy here soon... including my vacation. I'll be gone from the 3rd of July and be back here on the 10th. I will be going to Jersey and Missiouri should be alot of fun. I'm gonna see my Bro and sister in-law and my nephew. I'm so excited to see them all! Then we are off to Missiouri for a family reunion... I hope it's fun... and not boring. I'm sure it will be fun.... ha ha. Well, that's pretty much everything so peace :)

It's a good/bad feeling today and I'm ok with it.

I'm so exhausted between my kids, husband, family, and friends. I really do feel that when you are my friend or closer I put a lot of my self in these friendships. I'm sick of wasting my time on crappy people. Plus the level of respect some people give are just ridiculous! I am just done reaching out anymore... done. I think it's my turn for some one to reach out to me and have the others try to mend a problem... or maybe the problem is; is that they don't see the same problem. Oh well I guess I need to learn not to care... but that will never happen because I care I always will.

Other than some people really drive me nuts... things are good. I've had time to really think and I'm happy about that! I believe I've made some great progress on what I want to be doing in my life! I just need to do it now. I will be doing some this week and next week and hopefully by then things will be rollin! I'm pretty excited to get started. I love it when I have this motivation for something... I know this will be something great!

Plain Jane... blah

I was thinking the other day how I am sick of my plain Jane house!!! I need to decorate... bad! The idea I have for my bed room is pretty sweet... I think. I am gonna have my room be a wind/rain storm theme! I need to make some really really cute bedding. I wanna make something no one can buy in a store! I haven't made a blanket in about a year soooo maybe I'll get some help somewhere! Anyway I went out today and got some pictures of the storm and I'm so excited to get them on my walls! I also thought of really cool saying to put on my walls! I wonder if they are stupid... oh well I like them and that's what matters. I am ready to make it so that when I walk in my house I don't ever wanna leave. I want it to be some where when people come in they feel welcomed and happy.

It's just a lost feeling

So lately I've been feeling sort of lost... I guess it's the word. I love being a mom and a wife but I know deep down I can be more than that. I love what I do but I CAN be doing more. I don't wanna go into details because I do believe on keeping most of my feelings to myself. I need to give more of myself into the things I'm passionate about. I know so many things that I am passionate towards.

It blows my mind to see people that aren't passionate about anything. To me they look like zombies... Dead here on earth.

I am sick of people who can just live their own lives but yet follow the footsteps of others. Makes me wonder if they really think they aren't in control of their lives to make their own decisions. Trust me if you make your own decisions and do things that you love, your life will be worth so much more to you and I guarantee you will enjoy life so much more!

Something most people won't understand but, "it's just a substance, and nothing more" I am so scared to become a zombie.

Wish List/Rambling

So every once in a while I get into these moods where I want like a thousand different things.... For one I want these shoes They are called TOMS... I love them! You probably do too ;). So freaking cute!!! I love brown shoes... and stripes... So ya! It works for me!

I also am wanting a pair for my daughter... it's kind of a crazy shoe... and most people who have met my daughter realize crazy is an under statement for her. I know don't be jealous of my hyper active, out going, fantastical child. ( sarcastic if you don't know me and are reading my blog... awkward!)

and I saw these really cute home made jewelry today... SOOOO CUTE! it kind of looks like a wax stamp ( like how they use to seal a letter in the "old" days) anyways and it had an M on it. I want it! I don't have a pic of it though. I also want a new "look" I dunno I like how I am but like it's summer and I want to be cute and feel cute! I could go on and on about all the things I want!!! No worries I won't go on and on! heh. Any who... I have bunco tonight... kind of fun to get away one night a month and play games with some fun people. It's really the only thing I do with my sisters... so it's cool! It's my turn to drive... I hate driving. Not that I don't want to take my car or use my gas... I just hate driving. Probably why I am home a lot! :) Jaxon is crying so I better turn mom mode on and go do mom things... hmmm. Peace :)

I'm just bloggin!

Lately I have been getting a lot of comments from my family that I'm not the same as I use to be... I'm not as laid back and I always am down. I mean I'll be honest to why I hold back with my family... I'm afraid of what negative things are gonna be said. Don't get me wrong I love my family more than anything! But we all have issues now and then. I kind of get a little butt hurt when my family tells me that I'm not as happy as I use to be... I feel just fine... I'm happy! I have problems like everyone else and days where I don't want to be bothered! I just hope people realize people change and I guess I'm just not as laid back anymore? ( even though I know I'm way more laid back then most people... ) I guess it comes with being a parent and a wife to change that part of me. I try to think of myself as a easy going, happy person. I know I will work on trying to be a little more happy :) I just think I'm becoming a social retard! haha. No, just kidding. No offense to anyone who reads this... :) If any at all... I'm just bloggin! :) blah blah blah........ I'm done now!

Friend

Friend... " a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty " think about that. (No I'm not mad at any of my friends) heh.

Crazy Kid

So, today I took Jaxon to the doctors to get his shots (I was actually a month late in doing them..Oh well). The doctor looked at Jaxon the slightly tilted his head in the same direction Jaxons was tilted and said " hmmm this might be a problem!" I have to some how get Jaxon to stretch out the muscle on the other side of his neck! That's gonna be kind of hard but I'm DETERMINED!!! Heh... anyways, the doctor also said he is tooo small he is almost 5 months old... ( in a week) and he is only 11 pounds. I told him he eats all the time and he told me well he needs to eat more in a sitting, so now I have to feed him even more than I do already!
Another thing is he has eczema on his cheek. I was thinking to myself what more is wrong with my baby!!! lol considering all the things are pretty mild it was just a lot of things I need to take care of now. I felt so bad for him having to get his shots... I swear it hurts me to see him go through that then anything else really.
Then at the end of the appointment he asked me
" is there anything else I can do for ya?" then Alexa says,
"yeah you need to look at my owie!"
I about died in laughter she had to tell him the whole story on how she got it and I felt kind of bad but, eh I'm sure he got a kick out of it... He is the nicest doctor ever!!!
Now I'm sitting here in silence because Jaxon is worn out and so is Alexa! She ran for 2 hours straight with Gage and Grace today so she is down and out for at least a good hour and a half! Well I think I'm gonna go and see what else I can fit in to this amazing me time!!! Peace

My day so far!

Today I woke up pretty late... (like most days, what I'm a night person ok!) I was thinking about how bored I was today, then I text from my friend Rachel (awesome chick!) to take the kids to park and just relax. We ended up going to a park in A.F. It was pretty secluded and quiet... besides the donkey freaking out a couple of times! I seriously was a little scared. Anywho! We watched the girls play and had a nice talk! I seriously love Rach she really is such a good friend! I love just catching up even tho we hangout often it's just nice to just be me and her and have an A&B conversation... I think every set of friends need them. It's so weird to think of what me and her have gone through as friends and I'm so happy we have kids both 2-3 weeks apart (with each kid). We've had our ups and downs and I thinks that's helped us become better friends! I love the girl and hope for more good times! Not only with her but with all my friends... it's summer and it's totally on! Good times with EVERYONE! I love all my friends and appreciate them all the same! anyways Alexa is running the bath again so I gotta go get her out... again... !

Bored

So I was up late and really bored... then I remembered that I had taken some pictures of my niece and nephew only a week ago and haven't had time to really mess around with their photos. Here are some of the pics... hope you like them Jess!

I miss blogging

Hola, well It's been way to long sense I have blogged! As most can imagine my days are so busy and what not with two kids... umm well... not really, don't get me wrong I am busy but most of the time I'm either reading or spending time with my kids and friends. Summer is about here ( cross fingers ) and I love being out side and some what active! Sitting at home when the day is just so beautiful out side should be a crime... But having two kids means limitations on what I can do, so if I'm out side it means I'm at the park. I'll give a little update on my kids and what they are up to. Alexa is a wild child!!! I know she's three but oh my gosh... how does one little human being have so much energy built up in that little body of hers... what I would give to have that kind of energy. Then there is Jaxon, the months are going by way to fast!!! He is still this tiny baby and he's almost 5 months old! He smiles and goo's all the time he has a constant smile on his face. He loves to be cuddled and will giggle everytime I hold him close and kiss him. He is such a momma's boy... and I love it. My kids are my world and I love them so much!! anyways I think i'm done for today but I will be having more blogs now because... I miss blogging!

My babies

Well, I thought I would do a little post on Jaxon. These are some pics of him that I took and edited. He is such a peaceful baby! I'm so blessed to have such a good baby, he sleeps from 12:00 am to 6:30-7:00 am! I feel so whole being a mother of two, I mean being a mother of one is so amazing but being a mother of 2 really makes me feel like a mother and a wife more than ever. That has always been what I've wanted in my life. Jaxon adores his big sister and she loves him so much. She is always so gentle with him and whenever he cries she will come up to him and say "don't cry Jaxon Lexa's here" It's so cute I sometimes tear up. When Jaxon gets his binky he will hurry and put his hand on it... Looks like he is holding it in but I think he thinks that he is sucking on his hand because he is such a thumb sucker... :S It's cute for now! I love my kids and my husband I couldn't be happier with my life right now. It's truly amazing when you found your calling in this life... being a mother and a wife is my main calling at the moment and I couldn't be happier!

Our Little Jaxon!!!

Well we finally had our little baby boy on Dec. 29th at around 10:30 at night! It was a long day full of weird problems! It all started out when I got to the hospital they had to get and ultrasound done to make sure that he was not breach. We got that done and found out he was head down! So we then got me all set up to be induced when 2 hours go by to find out my IV had infiltrated so I wasn't getting all the patossin I needed! around 5:00 in the after noon they finally broke my water. Just a few hours later they then thought he was coming out face first so they ordered another ultra sound. While they were doing all of this his heart rate kept dropping lower and lower! Finally it dropped down to 30 BPM that is when 5 nurses fly into my room and started to prep me for a C - Section. I really thought at that moment I wasn't gonna get my baby here safe and healthy. As they rushed me to them O.R. I have to admit I was so scared but did get a sense that everything was gonna be ok. I've never been in such an emergency situation in my life... As we got in there and him back on the monitors his heart rate was better than what it had been in the last 2 hours. 20 min later I had my little miracle Jaxon Donald Wood he was a tiny thing weighing 6 Lbs and 1 ounce and 19 1/2 inches long. We are so happy to have him here and home with us! Alexa loves her little brother and is taking it so well! She is really the most amazing big sister ever! Not one sigh of jealousy at all!! I'm lucky to have such a great family and all the help I got while I was in the hospital was amazing thanks to all of you that helped me in my time of need! I love my family and I really am blessed to have such great people in my life!!!