Some people just love the taste of drama I guess it's a required taste!

I honestly think some people love drama!! I mean not just like it or whatever... they NEED it! Almost like they can't breathe without it! I personally hate it... I'm a wife a mother and I'm an adult. Some people need to grow up.

Time goes by so slowly...

I hate it when you are looking forward to something and then it feels like forever away! Well it's only 3 days out of my reach and I couldn't be more unprepared for my vacation...I have got so much to do still... not to mention that I have to go shopping for some new clothes for when I am down there! Including a new swimming suit!

I'm so excited to take my kids to the beach and for my brother and sister in law to meet Jaxon!! It will be a really fun weekend... I'm sure of it. I'll admit I'm so excited to kind of just ditch what is going on in my life right now... I'll be gone and not worry about one thing that's going on in Utah! I need a break from this state! ( mostly the people that are in it!!)

list of things I *STILL* need to do!
clean the entire house (spotless)
get all the laundry done!
get some new clothes and swimsuit
get into storage to get extra suit case
pack

Somtimes I wish...

That I could be super Mom

That I could do this for a living!

That I could live in the rain!

That I didn't have so many bad dreams

That I could be camping every weekend

That everyone could get along and not fight!

That child abuse would stop!

Attach your feelings to it.

I would rather put all my feelings out there for people to see then to have just sat on the side lines and watched so many people fly by me. I accept people for who they are including their flaws that's just the friend I am... and always will be. People who look at that as being weak are just upset and are so mad at this world and everyone in it. People use that as an excuse for being un happy! In all reality we have the tools inside us to love, hate, forgive, trust and be happy.... People just need to be willing to use the tools they've been given! I'm learning to use all these tools myself and I hope I become a better mother and wife and friend because of my willingness to learn them! I hope everyone has an amazing day I know I will!

Seeing things a little more clearly... can hurt

The last week or so has been ummm... upside down and all over the place. I'm seeing things more clearly about myself, friends, family. People you really think are your friends... they aren't they don't give a crap about you! Why?? I don't know! I guess some people really are that rude. I'm just exhausted. I had a really good talk with my friends and I've realized we are all given different "tools" I may think and handle things different than others and never really understand why people do the things they do... and that's because we are given different tools to handle them. I'm getting it now my blurry vision of this world and the many different people in it is getting better now! still.. that doesn't mean I like what is coming into view.

Some of our really good friends renewed their vows this weekend and it was amazing! It was really fun to see them have us all out there to share it with them. I love Rachel she is the only person in this world that really gets me. We talked about it and we have been through so much together... it really makes sense to why we can rely on each other and truly feel we aren't getting judged. I know I can always just be me around her and she accepts that. I really am happy me and her are friends.

Well, it was nice to get some things out there and off of my chest I will go and be with my husband and kids because out of anything in this world I have them and that's something everyone should be jealous about!

What a weekend

So I've been pretty busy lately... not always a good thing... but in this case it was a good thing to stay busy. So much drama and so much fun. I believe I've lost a friend for awhile and I'll deal with it. So that's the bad part of my weekend. The good was that I got to take pictures and do what I love the most. I went and saw The Hangover.... So hilarious. I love Trevor and Rachel they really do have some good taste in movies! I also made Alexa a tutu... I didn't want to spend 30 dollars on one when I can just make my own for 5 bucks. Plus I love making things like that. It turned out soooooo cute but to small.. ha ha. So I gave it to my niece... hopefully her mom loved the idea as much as I did.

Any who I also realized this weekend that there are some pretty nasty people in this world... not that I didn't know that! I just got to witness it first hand. Oh well what do you do?? Ignore it and move on with your life. Easier said then done. But at some point... sooner or later... we all move on. I'm kind of at peace with everything right now... I need to focus on the things that are important to me... like my kids and my husband. The love I have for my kids and family is amazing. Nobody understands it unless you have a child of your own. I'm sure people can imagine though.

I'm gonna start some new things in my life and I'll be pretty busy here soon... including my vacation. I'll be gone from the 3rd of July and be back here on the 10th. I will be going to Jersey and Missiouri should be alot of fun. I'm gonna see my Bro and sister in-law and my nephew. I'm so excited to see them all! Then we are off to Missiouri for a family reunion... I hope it's fun... and not boring. I'm sure it will be fun.... ha ha. Well, that's pretty much everything so peace :)

It's a good/bad feeling today and I'm ok with it.

I'm so exhausted between my kids, husband, family, and friends. I really do feel that when you are my friend or closer I put a lot of my self in these friendships. I'm sick of wasting my time on crappy people. Plus the level of respect some people give are just ridiculous! I am just done reaching out anymore... done. I think it's my turn for some one to reach out to me and have the others try to mend a problem... or maybe the problem is; is that they don't see the same problem. Oh well I guess I need to learn not to care... but that will never happen because I care I always will.

Other than some people really drive me nuts... things are good. I've had time to really think and I'm happy about that! I believe I've made some great progress on what I want to be doing in my life! I just need to do it now. I will be doing some this week and next week and hopefully by then things will be rollin! I'm pretty excited to get started. I love it when I have this motivation for something... I know this will be something great!

Plain Jane... blah

I was thinking the other day how I am sick of my plain Jane house!!! I need to decorate... bad! The idea I have for my bed room is pretty sweet... I think. I am gonna have my room be a wind/rain storm theme! I need to make some really really cute bedding. I wanna make something no one can buy in a store! I haven't made a blanket in about a year soooo maybe I'll get some help somewhere! Anyway I went out today and got some pictures of the storm and I'm so excited to get them on my walls! I also thought of really cool saying to put on my walls! I wonder if they are stupid... oh well I like them and that's what matters. I am ready to make it so that when I walk in my house I don't ever wanna leave. I want it to be some where when people come in they feel welcomed and happy.

It's just a lost feeling

So lately I've been feeling sort of lost... I guess it's the word. I love being a mom and a wife but I know deep down I can be more than that. I love what I do but I CAN be doing more. I don't wanna go into details because I do believe on keeping most of my feelings to myself. I need to give more of myself into the things I'm passionate about. I know so many things that I am passionate towards.

It blows my mind to see people that aren't passionate about anything. To me they look like zombies... Dead here on earth.

I am sick of people who can just live their own lives but yet follow the footsteps of others. Makes me wonder if they really think they aren't in control of their lives to make their own decisions. Trust me if you make your own decisions and do things that you love, your life will be worth so much more to you and I guarantee you will enjoy life so much more!

Something most people won't understand but, "it's just a substance, and nothing more" I am so scared to become a zombie.

Wish List/Rambling

So every once in a while I get into these moods where I want like a thousand different things.... For one I want these shoes They are called TOMS... I love them! You probably do too ;). So freaking cute!!! I love brown shoes... and stripes... So ya! It works for me!

I also am wanting a pair for my daughter... it's kind of a crazy shoe... and most people who have met my daughter realize crazy is an under statement for her. I know don't be jealous of my hyper active, out going, fantastical child. ( sarcastic if you don't know me and are reading my blog... awkward!)

and I saw these really cute home made jewelry today... SOOOO CUTE! it kind of looks like a wax stamp ( like how they use to seal a letter in the "old" days) anyways and it had an M on it. I want it! I don't have a pic of it though. I also want a new "look" I dunno I like how I am but like it's summer and I want to be cute and feel cute! I could go on and on about all the things I want!!! No worries I won't go on and on! heh. Any who... I have bunco tonight... kind of fun to get away one night a month and play games with some fun people. It's really the only thing I do with my sisters... so it's cool! It's my turn to drive... I hate driving. Not that I don't want to take my car or use my gas... I just hate driving. Probably why I am home a lot! :) Jaxon is crying so I better turn mom mode on and go do mom things... hmmm. Peace :)