Re-Boost

So today I have had this urge to blog and I have so many things on my mind. I decided to talk about wanting something so bad you'll do anything for it, for example I want a different look so bad and the truth is... I'm still to heavy to get the look I want. The clothes I want to wear just don't look so hot on a bigger girl, so there it is... my motivation. I've really slowed down on the weight loss but not gained so that's a plus. I am still so motivated to lose weight, but I think my body was so over whelmed by all the weight I had lost it didn't know what to do, so I decided to give it a week of eating what I wanted and treated my body to some relaxing time, so far I've lost 3 lbs :). I think it worked!!! I won't get my hopes up too much but I really am looking forward to losing more and being in those cute clothes. Not only that but I love being healthy and strong, it has made such a difference in my life and I'm so grateful for my changes, and I'm grateful for those cute clothes that push me to do whatever it takes to get them.

Talking about being healthy I have heard about this cleanse called the "Re-boost Juice Cleanse" It's juicing all your meals!!! You use all natural non processed foods, like apples, carrots, cucumbers, nuts, herbs, just leave out those really starch filled veggies :). I will be doing this cleanse it will be 10 days and I hear that the first 3 days are hard but after that you feel a lot better and a lot of people say that they have MORE energy and feel so much better, but like any cleanse it's hard and food is always so tempting. I was telling my sister and brother in law that with something like this you need to be motivated and be there mentally 100%. I wanna start A.S.A.P. I have always had some issues with my health and this cleanse cures a lot of health issues and cuts your medication doses a lot and sometimes eliminates them completely. I'm not doing this cleanse so much for the weight loss but for the re-boost on my body. I'll blog my journey about it and we'll see how I do... and how long I CAN last.

Mysterious Love

What is love exactly? I mean I know people have tried to explain it in their poetry and their music, but do we know?

Falling in love:

Having enough faith in another person to give them your whole heart.

Letting yourself feel too much, too fast, and face planting in the end.

Breaking down your own walls to not only let in, but out.

Thinking be damned. Feel it.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Fearless. Fearless. Fearless.

You can't really choose love, but you cannot feel love with out feeling vulnerable, but you can choose who to be vulnerable to, so choose to be vulnerable with some one. Feel it, the hurt and the disappointment, because that is better than feeling nothing at all! You can never feel the fullness of love without risking the sorrow. So risk. Risk it all.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Fearless. Fearless. Fearless.

Where is Fall?

Lately I have been sick, tired, unhealthy! It's been horrible!!! Today was the first day that I felt like myself again and that was really nice... I loved today. Woke up, went swimming, went to my moms for my birthday dinner and had a really fun time with my family.

I've been alone a lot this week and I loved it. Sometimes I just need a break from the world, and it was a nice break. I am ready for summer to be over with, so I can go back in to hibernation and have a good excuse to do so. I miss it being too cold to leave so that I was forced to read, clean, and be a little O.C.D. Too much of it is stressful and a bit boring. I love having time with my friends and being in the sun and letting the kids wear themselves out by being outside, but I'm ready for it to be done... I think I'm more excited for fall than winter, actually I HATE winter, so yeah I rephrase that comment, " I can't wait for fall to come so it's too cold to be outside all day." Plus fall is jacket weather and my favorite article of clothing is my jackets! I LOVE them.

It's getting late and I need to spend what little time me and Eric have left of this wonderful weekend together.

Also...

I'm happy... for the first time in a long time... I'm happy.

The Surface

Sometimes I feel out of place, who doesn't at some point?

I wish I could feel more.

How do I fix that?

I have put up these walls so I don't have to feel pain as much as I should, but that also means I don't feel happiness the way I should.

I don't know what I want, but I know I want change.

Something keeps holding me here and I need to find out what and change it.

I don't have to be scared of it, change is good.

What my change is... I'm not quite sure.